golden  child,  lion  boy ;  tell  me  what  it's  like  to  conquer.

you never thought your body could be anything but bruised. your locked door. your haunted house. the unlearning is taking so long.

in that moment, even if his chest were to be torn open, and his heart ripped out, veins, flesh, and all, it could not hurt as much as this.

dying is the best thing that could've happened to you.

i am the willing victim of a cannibal, she rips out my bones just like i'm an animal, and right when i'm feeling like my blood is drained she calls it a game.

'  come  on  in,  boy  '  said  the  skeletons  sitting  by  her  closet  door.  dirty  secrets,  empty  memories  and  broken  hearts  across  the  floor.

isn't  all  this  rage  so  ugly?

and  isn't  it  mine,  still?
good  god,  isn't  it  mine?

and  suddenly,  the  monster  in  him  falls  silent  as  he  rests  his  head  on  their  lap.

he  and  i  are  closer  than  friends.  we  are  enemies  linked  together.  the  same  sin  binds  us.

there  is  a  version  of  this  story  where  the  ending  is  unbloodied  and  forgiving  and  we  learn  peace,  or  at  least  stillness  and  quiet.  but  my  love,  we  are  not  the  gentle  version  of  this  story.

i pray to god, i curse my luck, i question my faith, i curse my empty hearted fate, and i curse the wind and the tide and the waves.

one last kiss, i love you like a broken pot. one last kiss, i love you like a pack of dogs. one last kiss, i need you like i need a gaping head wound.

the   darkening   brilliance   of   dreams   that   drowned.   painful   water.

and i want your violence, your silent sedation, your moon eyes, your telescope, morbid fixation. and i want your pyro, your born—again virgin, your hands on my insides, your fingertips crawling.

sorrow, you are my light, everything my heart desires, show me your beautiful anger. ∕ sorrow, keeping me sane, you turn my nights into days, i love your beautiful anger.

enemies fueling my thoughts taking up space、 / WHY DO I HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING SPITEFUL?

don't  fight  back,  don't  look  at  me  like  that,  don't  forget  i'll  never  quite  forgive  you.

i  set  fire  to  the  world  around  me  but  never  let  a  flame  touch  you.

at   the   end   of   the   day,   we   are   this  :   you   do   not   know   how   to   live   without   me;   i   do   not   know   how   to   find   myself   without   you;   we   do   not   know   how   to   exist   on   this   world   alone.

i'm  not  too  gone  to  be  healed,  right?  i'm  not  too  gone,  am  i?