That awkward moment when your gum randomly falls out of your mouth.

Oh, you text girls saying 'DTF?'... How romantic.

I'm not dyslexic. LOL, KJ.

Oh, you say 'run forest, run' when you see someone jogging? You are quite the comedian.

Oh, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger? False. AIDS.

Just past my English exam.

Boy: 'Why do you wear a bra? You've got nothing to put in it.' Girl: 'You wear pants, don't you?'

When I'm fingering a girl I like to throw up gang signs when I first get in there. To let it know I'm about to murder it.

Oh your tattoo matches your high school girlfriend's? At least one part of that relationship is going to last forever.

Oh, we all know a sexy Bitch named Jessica

Oh, you're a multi-millionaire? Please, contiue to complain about how hard life is.

Sometimes I look at my friends and think to myself 'Where did I meet these crazy people?' Then I think 'What would I do without them?'

I'm not saying she's a slut, I'm just saying her vagina is like New York City, either you or somebody you know has been there.

It's that time of night where my decisions are being made by the magic 8 ball app.

I have a question. *Teacher walks away* 'Uhh okay that's cool too.'

Oh, I wouldn't be so sarcastic if beating the shit out of people wasn't against the law.

You're fat. Don't try to sugar coat it, because you'll only eat that as well.

Oh, you can bench 155 lbs? You must be really strong.

Look. Either you can agree with me or you can be wrong.

Oh, there's a baby on board? Thanks for the notice.. I was planning on rear-ending you before I saw your bumper sticker.