In a narcissistic family dynamic, loyalty to the narcissist is trained from childhood. Sons and daughters may be conditioned to defend, appease, or rescue the narcissist no matter what. That training doesn’t disappear in adulthood. It can bleed into their marriages and parenting.

A narcissist will never keep your secrets safe. They quietly collect them, storing every detail to use against you later. When the time comes, they’ll share them to humiliate you, to control you, or to rewrite the story so they look like the victim.

Covert narcissists hide behind selflessness. They’ll make sacrifices like childcare, money, or endless favors, so they're seen as the hero or the martyr. When you stop praising them, they flip the switch. That “selflessness” turns to rage, guilt trips, or the silent treatment.

Why would anyone side with their narcissistic spouse? Because collusion has a payoff. By siding with the narcissist, they avoid becoming the next target, stay in their “good graces,” and share in the illusion of power, even if it means putting their own children in harm’s way.

Narcissists give themselves away. Pay attention to the "tells." 1. Over-explain when caught. 2. Seem too good to be true. 3. Accuse you of what they’re doing. 4. Play victim while causing harm. 5. Rewrite history and deny it. What "tells" have you experienced?

Narcs don’t care about raising kids. They care about control over you, the kids, & the story. They thrive on chaos and manipulation. Focus on clarity, documentation, & boundaries. You don’t “win” by matching their drama. Protect yourself by staying boring, steady, unshakeable.

Your “overreactions” might be fight. Your busyness? Flight. That shutdown? Freeze. That people-pleasing? Fawn. They’re not flaws. They’re trauma responses. 🧠 Learn how to spot them & start healing: wilysurvivor.com/blog/the-4-hor…

To a narcissist, family court is like opening night on Broadway, and they’ve been rehearsing their whole lives. Meanwhile, the safe parent walks in expecting truth, fairness, and justice…and gets blindsided by a performance. Family court does not work like you think it should.

You survived another week of their chaos and manipulation. Take a deep breath and remind yourself: Their behavior has nothing to do with you or your worth. You are amazing.

Healing isn’t linear. Some days you’ll feel strong and clear. Others, you’ll feel like you’re drowning in despair and doubt. Both are normal. Both are progress. Keep going. 💜

When a narcissist accuses you of lying, cheating, being selfish, or dramatic, they’re really describing themselves. The trick is learning to tune in. The insults and accusations aren’t about you. They’re confessions in disguise. Pay attention!

Your anti-narcissist power move this week: Be boring. Play possum. Be steady. Document everything. Starve their chaos.

Your nervous system can’t tell the difference between speaking up now and speaking up when it wasn’t safe. That’s why saying “no” or sharing your story can feel terrifying even when it’s the right thing to do.

Narcissists are well-skilled at looking like the hero: a gift after cruelty, a tearful apology after humiliation, playing rescuer in chaos they caused. It confuses you because it feels like love, but it’s really a power play to keep you hooked. Eyes open. 👀

Narcissistic abuse throws off your internal compass. Over time, you lose trust in your own perceptions and even doubt if you have a right to feel upset at all. This is the effect of chronic gaslighting and invalidation. They’ve uncalibrated you on purpose to keep control.

"Unknown Number" on Netflix is hard to watch and even harder to forget. It’s a masterclass in narcissistic abuse and coercive control without ever mentioning either term. Targets will instantly recognize the patterns: isolation, surveillance, gaslighting, manipulation, & fear.

Narcissistic abuse rewires your brain. Your amygdala stays on high alert while your prefrontal cortex (logic) gets sidelined. You feel stuck, foggy, frozen. When people say “just leave,” they don’t see that trauma makes even basic planning feel impossible.

Narcissist: I’m sorry you feel that way. Translation: This is just a performative non-apology because I want you to shut up about my behavior.