Huw Edwards: "The Duke of York there, making a rare public appearance..." #PrincePhilipfuneral

🎵Oh, the grand old Duke of York He is but still a Prince An entitled nonce-enabling bum And also thick a mince🎶

About to attempt to transcribe several thousand WhatsApp messages into some sort of coherent tract on post-1990s Serb nationalism.

2006- attended traditional Diwali festival in a Fijian village. Some cassava got thrown onto a roof, a boat was sunk by many fireworks and somebody was threatened with a cricket bat. Great days. It's important to preserve these ancient traditions. 🇫🇯🙏 अच्छा स्वास्थ्य और खुशी

I wonder which highly reputable businesspersons will step up when the demolition and scrap disposal of the Transporter Bridge is put out to tender. 🤔

So....is there a Mrs Pimple Popper?

Of course Sarkozy is taking a copy of The Count of Monte Cristo with him to read in jail. Of course he is.

Doorbell cam not working cos the 'Internet's down'? Have a look out the window you fucking bums.

'Antidepressants ranked...number 17 will REALLY shock you' 'You won't believe what valium looks like now'

Me, after leaving a litre bottle of Liquid Gold poppers on the radiator at the sesh...

Boro would lost a pig of a match like that 1-0 last season. Or threw away two points after going ahead.

Someone's unplugged Rory Stewart's power cable mid-debate. #Newsnight

If I looked as much like a gnome as Joe does I would dress like anything but, and yet here we are...

I wouldn't entrust anyone who considers Stephen Fry a genius to find ANYTHING at all; once again the classic English idiot's trait of being absolutely in thrall to a posh accent. #CelebrityTraitors

Hand- OW! Ballet...

Colleagues have 'never seen David Lammy so furious' apparently; presumably not even when he saw the results of the genocide he enabled.

Someone told me I have a 'look of Michael Hutchence with your hair like that' earlier today; it's not the first time I've been mistaken for the 'thunder' but the last time was over ten years ago. Anyway, I'm going to quietly revel in that filip over the weekend.

Walked past a couple of Wrexham players in Boro, earlier; couldn't hear what they were saying but it sounded like they were slagging Jon Hopkins off.

Watching the Women's Madison at the World Track Cycling Championships and the two frontrunners are called Archibald and Leach.