the main trick of having a mustache is when you're drinking from a water fountain you have to kind of sneak up on the water. it looks goofy but if you try to drink it normal style your shit gets soaked.

the baby has this activity mat with a bunch of little objects that have different textures and noises and stuff. and when she plays on it i like to say she's "conducting experiments." she's a little scientist 🙂

the main rule for staying in pretty good shape is if you eat Burger Lunch you have to eat Salad Dinner.

good point julio

dying at this person referring to family guy as Griffin. that's its name now.

chilling on regular mode

i have the perfect movie rec for you

sir,

ok but what am i supposed to do with all these turds

going online used to be cool

do i know anyone who didn't get fired or quit at twitter? i've been locked out of bobby for a couple weeks and every second i spend as a lowbie is causing me intense physical and emotional anguish.

they should make a little cage you can put your kid inside.

congratulations to the spindrift sparkling water corporation on inventing the most refreshing beverage in the history of liquid.

james naismith

you don't really see the gnarled green diseased potato chip from the bottom of the bag anymore. they should bring those back.