There are sentences being made that have never been made before

It goes without saying but any man who puts hands on women is a bitch

Next year I really hope I’m better at sports betting

GET OFF YOUR PHONES WHEN YOU DRIVE Nearly got into an accident because someone had their face buried in their phone. Asshole made me spill my beer.

Chill that’s just big sis

I love women, I wish they were good people

Your body count does not reset on new years btw..

Cops wake up New Years Eve morning excited as fuck to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours

Schedule them happy new years texts before you black out tonight

In 2026 I’m going to continue letting sports teams dictate my mental health

i dont understand the concept of “dream jobs” how does one dream of labor

You can’t have an iced out chain and have no car, that’s not motion.

I’m glad holidays are over I been drunk since Halloween

Get yo broke ass out my bar if you can’t tip

I gotta stop getting drunk and replying to all the tweets I be seeing

Music and food the easiest way to bring people together

When I get rich no one will know but there will be signs.

Social media is always funnier when you are severely lacking sleep

We are getting closer and closer to that one black mirror episode .