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born to trauma dump, forced to share a “fun fact” about myself

born to travel the world, forced to attend an offsite at a random Hampton Inn in New Jersey

born to be a creative genius, forced to “align on Q2 metrics of success”

there are only TWO kinds of people: 1. people who get to work 5 min early 2. people who think 9am is a “suggestion”

LOCKING TF IN (to answer all Friday emails I deemed a “Monday problem”)

LOCKING TF IN (to get coffee w my coworker bestie & debrief our weekends)

LOCKING TF IN (to move deliverables from last week’s to-do list to this week’s to-do list)

LOCKING TF IN (to answer all the Friday emails I considered a “Monday problem”)

returning to work after 5 days home with my kids, and all I have to say is childcare deliverables are 10000% more taxing than corporate deliverables

a beautiful woman should never have to bring shareholder value

running into your coworker you barely know in the bathroom is so embarrassing for absolutely no reason???

“you did it queen” i whisper as I move everything from Friday’s to do-list to Monday’s to-do list

what’s up w sleeping through your alarm EXCLUSIVELY on mornings when it is SO IMPORTANT you’re on time to work??? is there a scientist willing to study this or

freelancers be like

the productivity hack NO ONE talks about: 1. avoid task for 3 calendar weeks 2. maniacally crush it 3 hours before it’s due 💅

finally unlocked the code to sounding friendly & professional in emails while ALSO maintaining clear boundaries….peak career experience tbh

me & my coworkers every single day

“why do you secretly look at everyone’s work calendar…?” god forbid a girl take an interest in her coworkers

“I’m just built different” - me on a zoom meeting, explaining why I’ve worked in corporate for over a year and still can’t share my screen

coworkers who respond to pings with 👍 have big Dad energy