OH THANK GOD IT'S FINALLY INTERNATIONAL MEN'S DAY Too long we have struggled with no recognition of our existence on this planet where literally everything is built to accommodate the tiniest of our whims.

The latest episode of my podcast, "Telepathy Weekly", is available for download now! This week's topics include:

Some days I wonder whether I should go chasing waterfalls or just stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to, and I don’t know who to turn to for advice.

Marjorie Taylor Greene couldn’t handle standing up to Trump for two weeks. Democrats have been doing it for years. I guess CrossFit doesn’t help build muscles that fight fascism.

She’s resigning two days after her congressional pension kicks in. Sometimes the simplest explanations are the right ones, especially when it comes to grifters.

Turkey's in the oven! - Guy who hates the word "moist"

When I was 22 years old, I commissioned as an Ensign in the United States Navy and swore an oath to the Constitution. I upheld that oath through flight school, multiple deployments on the USS Midway, 39 combat missions in Operation Desert Storm, test pilot school, four space

And no, you chucklefucks, the Comey persecution was not dismissed "on a technicality." It was dismissed because the government unlawfully appointed Halligan, and thus, the unlawful use of executive power, which conservatives used to care about.

Very happy and proud to announce that I have been named by the Zohran Mamdani mayoral transition team as "This Guy Keeps Calling and Breathing Weird"

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVE! Tonight is the night when the veil between this world and the turkey spirit world is at its thinnest, according to this mashed potato Ouija board.

You can mess with the twitter chatbots when they try to scam you.

As a person with a "secret" guacamole recipe ingredient, I promise you that the most boring people in the world are the people with "secret" guacamole recipe ingredients.

OK yeah capitalism is bad but when a package is out for delivery I should be able to message the driver and offer them $20 to drop my package off first.

Juan Orlando Hernández said he wanted to "'shove the drugs right up the noses of the gringos by flooding the United States with cocaine." Instead of designating him a "narco terrorist" Trump gave him a goddamn pardon

The people arguing for sedition charges against Sen Kelly for reminding military members to not follow unlawful orders (because there have been no unlawful orders) ...have been quiet since it's come out that military was given unlawful orders to kill non-combatant survivors

The Department of Defense Law of War Manual, Section 18 states the requirement to refuse unlawful orders. As an example of such an unlawful order, they use: "orders to fire upon the shipwrecked."

He flooded the US with cocaine and gets a pardon from Trump. Gee I wonder if Trump benefits financially from this somehow.

If you are still in line for mashed potatoes at the Thanksgiving buffet STAY IN LINE. THEY HAVE TO LET YOU FILL YOUR PLATE.

192-core CPUs, modern phones that fit in your pocket and outclass a 00s supercomputer, solid-state drives that don’t die every time you sneeze on a hard disk, commercial jet engines that are quieter, safer, and burn less fuel per passenger-mile than ever, MRIs and CT scanners

The majority of people don't go to church to do good; they go to church to look good.