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my driver from the airport: god blessed me with a new young wife me: god is good

advertised by me, most of my research projects

placing the snacks i bought right by the minibar so the hotel staff see how badly they messed up stacking it exclusively w beverages

ooh may i introduce you to my father

i don’t need a dislike button my mutuals know when i disapprove

israel stands with the editor who rejected my manuscript

when they're out of garlic naan

use the dislike button on me & i’m blocking your ass only saying this once

on my way to manuscript central to do peer review

“i look forward to reading it” so like what are we

they're first generation cheating their way through college 🥹

feeling kinda stupid now for rawdogging college

“does your research break new ground” do you ever stop and listen to yourself

recalling how i had to write the same college essay twice bc i forgot to ctrl s

reintroducing bluebooks is for babies, i’m making my students chisel on stone

there needs to be a separate seminar for people who don’t ask questions

be ungovernable, i whisper as i reject cookies

chatgpt (*sigh* this again): certainly, here's the essay written in a style that would impress a v handsome lit prof twice your age