I didn’t beefed it

ME: hell yeah I’m into Dune 2. Dune 2 others as you’d have them Dune 2 you!
JESUS: *descends from heaven* stop that

got the invite to a new poker home game. going to show up wearing the fossilman sunglasses and a brand new t shirt that still has the fold lines from being shipped that just says TEXAS HOLD THEM

Once I took acid and thought I was able to see farts but it was a friend shitting on the ground

The reviews are in and everyone agrees my Bert and Ernie fan fiction is gross

Today women only bed bath body bath candle

Do any matts want to be in matt chat that are not already in matt chat

THEY SHOULD HAVE TO FUCK ON WIFESWAP

adhd is the most embarrassing diagnosis. sorry dude you have ipad baby brain take meth the rest of your life

I bet you think I won’t mustard gas myself but you would be wrong

I wish I had hobbies instead of depression

Are dinosaurs and volcanoes the same thing?

All my weinerdogs are gone 😔

Flamingos are fucking stupid

I present: $100 of groceries

Clipboard bit is killing in the group chat

Asking the Home Depot employee how much spaghetti this weed wacker eats

almond milk but for guys

almond milk but for guys