Word on the Summer Street, the Emersons have sent the Sunaks the name of a good removals firm.

Come rain or shine, I shall not be watching Andy Murray and Emma Raducanu play at #Wimbledon today. Mixed doubles are something of a sore point for me.

Lucy may well be frustrated by my ineptitude at tennis, but just wait till she sees my Bach-hand on the piano.

A double dose of sport!🎾⚽️ The Honeychurch obsession with who propelled what ball through whichever sporting apparatus confounds me.

The Miss Alans conclude their triumphant parish council convention with a pledge to make Summer Street grey again.

Eleanor Lavish vehemently refutes suggestions she was in any way responsible for the new edition of Baedeker which left thousands of travellers stranded at Dover.

The Treasury denies suggestions copper coins are to be phased out. There are 27 billion in circulation, many of which can be found in Charlotte Bartlett’s purse.

Speculation mounts that Lucy Honeychurch may well be among the headline acts at the Paris Olympics opening ceremony.

How many times must you be told? Always pack your Macintosh squares. #Olympics

Olympic officials weigh up the Sacred Lake as an alternative venue for the men’s triathlon.

Guests at the Pensione Bertolini would like to make clear that the doom and despondency captured in their expressions in no way relates to the last supper or any other supper served up by the Cockney Signora. Thank you.

A seventh summer Banksy has mysteriously appeared on the walls of the Pensione Bertolini.

Judges name Mr Eager as the raconteur of the least funny joke at the Edinburgh Fringe: You know the American girl in ‘Punch’ who says to her father, “Say, Poppa, what did we see in Rome?" The father replies, "Guess Rome was where we saw the yellow dog."

Acting on the advice of Eleanor Lavish, the new EU entry visa will also require British tourists to take an examination paper at Dover and turn back anyone who doesn’t pass.

Minnie asks Mr Beebe if they serve bubble tea at the Beehive Tavern.

The wait is over! Eleanor Lavish and Charlotte Bartlett confirm plans for a major new European tour.

The Cockney Signora refutes accusations of price inflation at the Pensione Bertolini in the wake of the Oasis reunion tour. Rooms with a view have always come at a premium.

Disraeli’s portrait seems to have gone amiss at the Pensione Bertolini.

Driver, stop the carriage! Lucy’s trying to tell us something … She’s managed to procure tickets to Oasis!

Not all heroes wear capes … some wear pince-nez.