Oh, that didn't go well? Imagine my surprise. I wonder what sort of sexual or highly skilled labor Rachel was trying to get them to do for free?

Gee, who could have possibly warned you this person was not not going to steal stuff?

Well, I knew this was coming but I can't deal, I'm checking out for the rest of the day.

I've always thought this was the saddest song ever, but now it really is: youtube.com/watch?v=7BbFh8…

Spent the afternoon in a wave pool, listening to delighted humans go “whoahhh, woof woof woof” as though a wave going through liquid were the most amazing experience we’d ever had, and I pledged never to make fun of my cat again. Well, after getting home, that lasted about five

A practical guide to the centrist utopia: Yoking the Two-Headed Eagle, by AnnKSterzinger open.substack.com/pub/nuisanceon…

Having cute animal cartoons try to convince you of stuff

You ever wonder "How different would my life be if people could pronounce, spell, or remember my name?" Stupidity hurts us all.

OfC the only Tarantino film I can stand is the one that turns Dennis Wilson into a badass stuntman. It's uncanny how much old Brad Pitt resembles young Dennis Wilson.

In which I have an amazing idea to fix politics. Don't worry, I'm working on the easy-reading version. Link: substack.com/home/post/p-16…

Sorry I haven't been on you, X. Maybe you shouldn't punish my account for linking to substack.

This would seriously fix things, but go on arguing over bullshit

If you're worried about gay activism making the west more gay, it's probably having the opposite effect. The Muslim world is the gayest world; forbidden fruit is a hell of a drug.

Watch the greatest sitcom about a mental hospital ever made: republicofidiots.substack.com/p/episode-3-li…

You know you're a knee-jerk contrarian when the fact that everyone everywhere hates Jews now makes you love them more each day

Think about how many things you have to believe that aren’t true to arrive here.

god, I forgot how many annoying synonyms tabloid writers found for every body part. I would much rather hear Casual Geographic come up with new ways to say one animal murked another.

I don't think women have been this badly oppressed in Europe since the invention of writing. If you think it isn't a nightmare, try it.

Or should I say felis CACTUS, heheh… In this installment of my public shadow work, I embrace my inner cat lady (if you thought the outer cat lady was bad) with a fun story about the military philosophy of Man’s Fourth or Fifth Best Friend… ie, the inexorable rulers of the

I've got to organize my stupid fucking social media accounts. But all I want to do is make my sitcom. It's a monstrous era. But here, have some Scientology jokes. substack.com/@republicofidi…