Sometimes you have to stand up for yourself, look life straight in the eye and say “Sorry. I ruined everything. It’s all my fault and I feel absolutely sick about it every day”.

Inside me there are two wolves. One is “don’t post much.” The other, “post a lil bit sometimes.”

And then she said those three words I’ve been waiting so long to hear.

A real reminder to check the guest wing of your castle.

Twitter is finally getting this ad thing right, I was telling my wife I was in the market for some tight tolerance, thin-walled aluminum extrusions manufactured in my home state and this popped up.

45 minutes into Billy the Kid versus Dracula and he gives you this look

Just a heads up. If you’re doing research and the article you’re reading ends with square after square of conventionally attractive women and gross, nonsensical medical imagery… the site is bad and you have done goofed.

[turns down stereo and looks at date] so that's korn

2023 is wild, man.

Heck yeah, I’ll wait for the crosswalk light. For as long as it takes. Even on an empty street. I'll stand here all damn day if I have to. Just bein’ a good boy.

Imagine seeing this ad and not knowing who Alex Trebek was

These are the lyrics to the Indiana Jones Theme Song.

While rewatching The State I had completely forgotten about the Taco Mailman sketch, which still brings me a lot of joy. Please enjoy this Zoom re-enactment if you can't watch the original: youtube.com/watch?v=idBxQZ…

Plagiarism is bad? Change a few words, that shit is yours. It's like when you change a baby's clothes- new baby. New baby that's yours now.

E.T. is naked, right? We can all agree on that. And genitals and anuses are fairly common among humanoid beings, right? Ok so here’s my question. Are Reese’s Pieces supposed to be different flavours for each colour?

Despite numerous R&B singers’ claims that they’ve “Got what I need” not one of them has been able to produce a decent copycat Chipotle burrito recipe.

I know there's a lot going on but I needed to get this off my chest

You can categorise just about anything as Web 3.0. It’s more of a feeling. Amazing bean salad, Stephanie. Very Web 3.0.