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My child just started telling me a story and opened with, "Their adventure led to disaster" He's a writer, that one

Me: I think I have to DNF this book Bestie: oh what book is it Me: the one I'm writing Bestie: no

Last year I opened up 1:1 coaching spots for writers—and it was TONS of fun. I’m bringing it back this August, but this time, I'm teaming up with Andie Smith Anyone in? #writingcommunity #amwriting

My hair, especially the ends, are absolutely chlorine fried. Wrecked. Anyone know a super intense oil or hair mask that can rescue me?

.... same

Confession: I want more followers.

If you’re trying to impress me with your vehicle, it better be a food truck

Me, standing in the rain: My weather app: no you're not

Without googling, do you know the word tchotchke

I read the word barnacles like it was a Roman gladiator 🫠

Fucked up the entire dinner I was making. Cried for a minute. Poured myself a glass of wine and ordered Chinese. ✨ Balance ✨

My son just got scared because his toy boat says "small parts not for children under three" and he was desperately trying to figure out how old our cat is 😂 The cat that won't eat cat food and expects me to make her grilled chicken or steak every single day. That cat?!

Mom: omg Chuck Mangione died Me: omg is that Luigi's dad?!

HOAGIEFEST ENDS TOMORROW BIG BACKS ASSEMBLE

Hubs: You can't pack that many books Me:

i will never get over the fact that people now associate em dashes and semicolons with ai like god forbid a girl likes to read sorry i’m literate

"phone shut down due to heat" Yeah bitch me too

Atp I'm running from shade to shade trying to avoid the sun like a vampire My skin hurts but my soul yearns for the sea 😭

My husband is drenching himself in my Kopari shimmer sunscreen No one say a word. We're gonna let Edward Cullen ride this one out