🐚 (@vikingbut) 's Twitter Profile
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@vikingbut

I really have no idea what I'm doing here @desert_musings is the best. @[email protected] on Mastodon, discord.gg/WSnvhcYX3u on discord

ID: 1327312066579992577

linkhttps://mobile.twitter.com/search/from:@VikingBut(exclude:replies) calendar_today13-11-2020 18:07:23

51,51K Tweet

4,4K Followers

3,3K Following

Velocirooster chicxulubensis (@theropologist) 's Twitter Profile Photo

In preparation for the long winter I am slathering my body with butter but for some reason my butter churn is feeling snugger than it did last year and don't tell me that's not how butter churns work or that snugger isn't a word I have to live my life on my own two buttery feet

Tusk Jenkins (@tuskjenkins) 's Twitter Profile Photo

All this time trying to nudge an injoke out of an untouched inflight magazine as the tray sighs dreamily "table of content." So I storm off yelling turbulence for one and get a wink from opposing winds. I rough up my tie.

Johnny Normality (Even More Still Spooky Mode) (@probgoblin) 's Twitter Profile Photo

If you want to have a good time: bust out the old yo-yo and "walk the dog". If you want to have a bad time: imagine a group of middle aged men dressed as Waluigi meeting in a cheap motel, writhing on the floor, eating overly ripe plums off a dirty carpet, moaning in dark ecstasy.

Omniscient Orb of Antlers (@omniscientof) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Cleaning up old dump sites for the county we came across a severed finger. I took it home & awoke to the sound of it tapping on my phone screen FIND THE REST OF ME. As it inched across town, I followed it, horrified. It lead me to a feller likes to repair lawnmowers while drunk.

Blather Wince Repeat (@xerxesbigboy) 's Twitter Profile Photo

On Halloween, Cyrus draped himself in cold cuts and strutted about, mimicking the vainglorious behavior of the living. The other skeletons rattled with laughter.

Velocirooster chicxulubensis (@theropologist) 's Twitter Profile Photo

YEAH! BURN THIS MOTHERFUCKER TO THE GROUND! I shout from inside the burning house that I refuse to leave because I can't bear to abandon my collection of potatoes that look like shrunken heads

Velocirooster chicxulubensis (@theropologist) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I was fired from Twitter this morning. I was responsible for the clattering in the walls, the sighing through endlessly branching florescent-lit hallways, the garden of forking paths dripping dark tendrils into the depths of the earth, silently drinking the ferment I grow out of.