Look lady, if I learned from my mistakes, I wouldnt have anything to do.

Welcome to Twitter. No matter how logical and unassailable your post is someone will be along to argue with you soon.

Some of you should really use the drafts folder.

Someone who came of age in the 80s needs to say it so I will. Garfield was the opposite of funny.

Take your pills.

It is said that one becomes more tolerant as one ages. I think this is true because yesterday Right Said Fred's "I'm Too Sexy" came on the 90s channel and I didn't change the station.

ever just wanna be hugged to death?

Have you ever looked at an exes new partner and realized that you were their peak in life?

Mark Zuckerberg Is holding someone's relationship hostage😭not mine I'm single, yall be safe though❤😂

Social media down now I gotta confront every responsibility and emotion I’ve ever had

Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp are down - the attention seekers are having a mental breakdown.

Stop getting mullets

So the Parliament building is on fire again. Welcome 2022. #ParliamentFire

If a nap won't fix it, I'm out of ideas.

Up until a few days ago, I didn't even know that Chance The Rapper existed. Let it be known that my inner 2000's self is now obsessed with him and this performance. youtu.be/1KmCfpqdFrk

I remember when a "thigh gap" was just called "bow legged"

"What's the craziest thing you've done for sex?" Me :