i call her mommy one time and now i gotta buy her a mother's day present man wtf

2 types of people

this is how sims would talk if they spoke english

coming from someone who used to be guilty of the same - there are people on this app that constantly argue and fight as a coping mechanism but you really gotta learn to pick your battles cos a) it’s not psychologically healthy and b) it’s really fucking annoying for everyone else

i have a strong preference for female therapists even though women are the reason i’m there in the first place and i’m undecided on whether that makes sense or not

HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO FIND JEANS THAT FIT ME IT'S ACTUALLY NOT POSSIBLE

oomfs subtweeting me cos i’m mutuals with femdom accounts it’s like pointing out an NBA fan page follows lebron james like yeah obviously what did u expect

i told my friend i spent £400 and her immediate response was “on who” ????

i need a bigger mirror

i’m like an abusive husband to my male friends

brilliant

get u a friend that vouches for u like this 💯

“men used to go to war” does not apply to me the only way the government would willingly hand me a weapon is if my mental health records were destroyed in said war

dude my wife left the door open and our pet twink escaped i’m so fucking sick of this

so silly that my most liked photos are a picture of me cosplaying as the evil looking guy and a picture of my veins

i be feeling emotions that don’t even have names yet i think that’s the problem