Big changes are happening. Watch YMH tomorrow 🥲

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Saw people that wanted the audio of Catching You Up uploaded to audio platforms… so I did that, and will keep doing it. Subscribe, rate and review: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/cat…

I've made it to The Twitter. I'm 26 but I feel so young at heart!

.Darnell Murphy Please have this footage: instagram.com/p/xcOjRfJyJo/ and all images associated with it removed from all online media. #private

Now that Facebook notifies me of birthdays of the randoms Im friends with, I can finally get back 2 my defriending campaign #happybirthday

Any restaurant that has Costco brand TP automatically gets 5 stars from me on Yelp. Christina Pazsitzky Tom Segura AKA Mr. Ladybug #justbathroomthings #kirkland

I passed by a slowpoke only my walk to lunch. Right when I passed him, I walked face first into a spiderweb. Probably a life lesson in there

Thanks for the #listeria Jeni's Splendid Ice Creams! Been all sorts of sick this whole friggin week!

“Sorry, we won't be able to process your loan application. Our background check revealed that you've been on a lip synch competition show.”

One last thing before I go. Meet Keanu himself (yes that's a real kitten and yes that's a scene from Crimson Tide):

Aaaand the top button of my pants just fell into the toilet. #GoneForever #devastating

This wave export is hella megahertzy. Sound mixer dude is gonna flip when he gets the YouTube link.

Bad planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.