have managed to get every single meal/drink this weekend in london for free but ended up getting so drunk at one of the bars I spent a grand on new nipple piercings so really im worse off than I ever could have been

the upwards inflection on the scotrail AI voice is unbearable

yesterday I got a court citation for a guy that assaulted me in work and today im gettin paid £100 to eat a burrito in bathgate. How the Turns Have Tabled, everything’s comin up millhouse xxxx

my mum said my zebra print crocs are the reason I can’t get a boyfriend but it’s really my abhorrent personality

some pics from meatopia xxxxx 👅👅👅

sorry u wake up hungover and what ? you need to wait until 4pm to be able to order a chinese ? in 2025 ?

crazy that me, a girl who loves sleeping at night, is expected to work nightshifts ? woah

running a food blog as a woman 🫶

getting to look after her for 2 wks whilst my parents r on holiday !! I am sooooo dog mom mode

I think it’s time for me to normalise having just one drink with dinner and going to bed at a sensible time and definitely not sending any crazy texts and then waking up the next day fresh and gorgeous and not full of the fear haha xx xxxxx

being genuinely unwell with covid in 2025 feels a bit like having smallpox or cholera it’s a bit retro a bit different a bit attention seeking but also just embarrassing

what feels like day 100 of me on the way out with covid, I’m lying by my gym pool trying to make use of the nice weather but my nose is blocked so I’m lying here panting like a pug trapped in a car. it’s a sin really.

more 365 party girl, less 365 microsoft outlook

labubu this, pistachio dubai chocolate that, how long has it been since we all felt the tender embrace of another human

a sweeney todd style set up of a beauty salon beside an italian where the restaurant uses the dead skin from pedicures as their parmesan xxxx

men will literally reply to your stories on a weekly basis for years making weird convoluted points like “is that guitars in the back?🤪” and “new bedding?😊” rather than ask you on a date and actually try and get shagged for once in their miserable lives

went out last night wearing the outfit i have on in my pfp n 3 people came up to me to say they followed me on twitter n I felt like a popular NPC tht had been dropped into the real world (embarrassed)

no cos why am I am absolutely hoaching with with autism

nearly at the level of mental breakdown from stress where im posting taylor swift reputation lyrics on my insta story unironically

there’s a woman in my work who always says “I like the mothers of my boyfriends to be DEAD” whilst flailing her arms about dramatically. a few people have said she’s like a future me. huge compliment.