Watching I Want My 80s on mtv and remembering back to before my soul died.

Why is X asking me if I regret seeing your post? Isn’t it too late by then?

I work at Burger King, where I give every burger you order a little kiss goodbye. 💋

Does anyone REALLY understand what Trump is doing in the Middle East right now? Besides getting limo camel escorts and participating in weird ceremonies with men in white dresses?

Jeff Nelson is in no way, shape or form telegenic. #yankees #sorrynotsorry

So thrilled to see Damn Juicy LeMahieu back. 🙄#Yankees

Someone call the police! Grisham just got robbed! #yankees

Volpe sucks. #yankees

Volpe shows his situational hitting prowess with a double when nobody is on base. #yankees

Volpe and Dominguez carrying the team. #yankees

If I saw Matt Blake coming to me I’d run away. The dude is nothing but bad luck. #yankees

Matzek gets pulled just as he’s getting rolling. #yankees

George is lucky the police could never prove he knew those wedding invitations had toxic glue, or he would have been spending a lot longer than a year in jail. #seinfeld

Funny how the people screaming the loudest for the release of the Epstein List are the same people screaming for Pete Rose’s induction into the Hall of Fame. Please make up your minds; are you for child molestation or against it?

If Pete Rose can be posthumously inducted into the Hall of Fame, can he also be posthumously sentenced to jail for raping a minor?

My timeline has devolved to anime, covered nipples, and baseball fanatics fighting with each other.

Interesting. People say Diddy belongs in jail forever, but every time I ask them to show any proof of any crime the silence is deafening. 🤔

When I die and you have an estate sale of my things, please throw this away instead of selling it.

Be nice to your kids, or they may need to decide whether visiting your grave is worth the time, effort, gas money, and miles on the car to bother.

I was thinking of crashing my own boat into the Brooklyn Bridge today, but now if I do, I’ll just look like a copycat.