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Will an Amish family please adopt this child?

Me to my son: I met our new neighbors mom. Her son is 28 and lives by himself. I told her you’re 22 and if he ever wants to shoot hoops or something give us a shout. Son: I’m 22 years old. I don’t need thou to arrange play dates for me. I can’t just turn off the mom switch

🎶I can’t wait🎶

“Sex is natural Sex is good Not everybody does it But everybody should” - George Michael RIP

If we aren’t sending her to the alligator prison then you really should hush.

😂💀 My mom walked into Home Depot & asked a young man if they had climbing chlamydia. True story. 😂😂😂

At least he’s saying it out loud now.

We know who will be the first to sign up for ring girl.

Welders are quite sensitive. Be warned.

He said “anus”. 😂😂😂😂

My sweetheart is taking me to the OKC zoo today and it makes me so happy.

Super fun day at the zoo and Pops with my favorite human. Doomsday lemonade seemed appropriate way to celebrate the 4th.

I don’t even want to know what that would do to the digestive system.

I fully endorse this message.

I can’t say I have. But my pet has tasted human food. In fact she’s annoying about it.

We will get this man to a crawl yet.

The vibe is more Martina McBride Independence Day than Lee Greenwood.

So merrier at her farms strategically supported Trump hoping he would crush other farms. I will never buy products from these people.

The man has stage 4 cancer.

They make a super cute couple. Don’t ya’ll agree. Shoot your shot Lindsey.