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It was a trans woman (hitler) who threw the first brick at Kristallnacht

Suck my big fat cock, or die.

you guys have to try getting a shave done with a straight razor. it seems scary at first but I promise its completely painless, they basically just slit your throat from ear to ear and the blade is so sharp you can't even feel it and then its lights out

PERNICUS i love closing my eyes beaming from ear to ear as the sinister barber ties a cape around my neck and says some shit like "get ready for a... close shave"

[archaeologist finding a fucked up curved dagger] hmm yes, probably ceremonial

@GeckosDaily1 [Archeologist] This blade would be impractical in battle, it must be ceremonial [3rd century blacksmith] Wow. Ok

no one below 100 iq on my page. no one above either. you should be a sensible 100. if youre one of those rain men get off my page now.

british stalin executes people for being dodgy

don't try to make my tweet about you. my tweet is far more important than you

we're not on speaking terms. we communicate through dance

just pissed off a shaolin monk. he went like: you- you- [face turns tomato red steam coming out of ears] why i oughta- [bows respectfully and a gong sounds nearby]

we need to address the "moon problem". the moon is so charming and round and too many of our children are thinking about the moon

abolish yucky things and normalize yummy things. abolish boo-boos and normalize kissing boo-boos to make them go away

i'm quitting autism cold turkey

goodbye, old friend (reluctantly throws you into a volcano like a log)

yeah i'm done consuming animal products because i, for one, actually give a shit about the environment (tosses a handful of tiny cheeto-sized crunchy screaming humans with rich inner lives directly into my maw)

i love tiny crunchy screaming humans™. they may be small and crunchy as a cheeto but they are scared

when the homie messages me freaking out bc he's just seen a cheeto the size of a fully grown adult human and i gotta be the one to tell him he's actually a tiny snack-sized human. bro your sole purpose is to be food🤣

@GeckosDaily1 preparing my homie à la Peking duck 😋

@GeckosDaily1 breaking the news to homie that's he's positively scrumptious