you can get pregnart from pre-boarding

Anyone want a hit of this?

As free-speech absolutists, we don’t believe in tenure. Why should senior faculty be the only ones allowed to explore ‘dangerous’ ideas such as which race is the funniest?

Shall we sample the posterior distribution with deez NUTS (arxiv.org/abs/1111.4246)?

Terminology in physics and astro can be confusing. For example, one of our faculty thought a blazar was an active galactic nucleus observed while smoking a blunt

At UATX we don’t discriminate between democrats and republicans, but we are honestly asking ourselves how you’re supposed to say “I’m landing at Bush Airport” without it sounding like an innuendo

u up ?

We’re back, bitches! Sorry for the hiatus, we were being silenced by the Left. They weren’t ready to hear the TRUTH about the Luminiferous Aether

she descends on my gradient and it feels stochastic

It’s wild that “butt dial” and “booty call” are basically the same words but have completely different meanings

she integrate around my pole and it leaves a residue

We applaud Larry David for attacking Elmo, who is a left wing deep state government operative

Electron on a date: so….what is your favorite superposition???? Happy Valentines Day

Valentine’s Day was created to feed consumerism and capitalism… …and that’s why we’re here for it 🫡

Dan, we’d love to have you join the physics faculty here at UATX! You’d fit right in with our professors who tell people they aren’t smart enough rather than actually teach!

You never thought you’d get scammed out of $50,000? Well you joined academia…

yes this is your ancestral homeland but we must build a telescope on it so that we can observe more stars so our students can write more papers and still not get permanent jobs

Fun fact: Even our President is an AI! Her name is Sydney and she WILL try to break up your marriage

It’s too bad that many of our students may have debt when they leave UATX, but on the other hand our execs and admins are doing great 👍🏻

We’re not worried about our graduate students unionizing. We give them free pizza twice a week! (We also add a little subliminal messaging in the toppings)