day one without Jake Marquis: the value of the american dollar is in free fall. A pack of nearby street rats appear to be plotting a revolt against us. running low on high life. come home soon, Jake. I need you.

Day 9 without Jake Marquis: if I were to sell all of Jake’s belongings on the Internet, do you think I’d make more or less money forging his autograph on them first? Asking for a friend.

Day 38 without Jake Marquis: currently organizing a group of people that will mass text jake saying “yo whaddup with that guest list on saturday???” randomly every couple hours. HMU if interested

Day 49 (I think? time is a fucking social construct) without Jake Marquis: So, like... I knew putting aluminum foil in the microwave would start a fire, but I didn’t think it would start a FIRE FIRE. Look, what I’m trying to say is we need the kitchen remodeled.

guys what if we just had a scene party EVERY DAY

Just got a flash flood warning on my phone. Is it finally happening? Are we getting the indoor basement swimming pool that we always wanted??? 🏊‍♂️

we’ve all seen Return of the King. Someone come through and be my Samwise and fuck up this spider for me plz tysm ily

One of our neighbors bought a hammock. I feel this is a power move and we should buy TWO hammocks!

We need a new dish washer

Old Sleep On It CDs a plenty

A solid 80% sure that our heater isn’t working so we’re proud to present our seasonal production of Twerk Mansion ON ICE between now and idfk, spring or something. 🤗

Help. The day is upon us

got a call from the Sleep On It homies with a simple favor to ask 🎶 sleeponit.lnk.to/pride

Happy fifth anniversary to the night where nothing was safe. Nothing.

If you’ve been to a Twerk Mansion party, you’re immune to the Coronavirus.

Every day is the weirdest day of my life.

door dash but delivered by dogs

happy 2 year anniversary to the best party Twerk Mansion ever had ~2007 a scene odyssey~