If Adam Scott’s golf swing had a soundtrack, Barry White would sing it, by Jove.

And that’s just the additional media squad that has descended on the journalist tent, by Jove young Shipnuck.

Young Spaun should have packed the hiking boots for today’s round.

I do say, I really enjoy the Rolex hour on Sky Sports Golf, advertisement free and it’s sponsored by Rolex. Delightful.

And how I see the Majors visually when I think about them. Majestic.

This is like playing golf in cabbage soup.

Did anyone in the USGA read the weather forecast and think we could have started earlier this morning or were they way too busy shaving greens and loading fast growing fertiliser on to the semi rough? Quite remarkable.

Even simple things like lining up putts is getting difficult out there. Remarkable #USOpen

I wouldn’t be surprised if Trump deports Ortiz before he finishes his round, by Jove.

I don’t think anyone can overhaul Legion XIII in winning the team prize at this year’s #USOpen

Everybody in contention will be conscious of not getting beaten by Adam Scott in a playoff. The last chap who suffered that fate was sent to prison. Remarkable.

‘Carnage’ is this evening’s bingo word on Sky Sports Golf. Lovely.

How on earth was Burns not given relief there? That lie was wetter than an otters pocket, by Jove.

Tyrrell Hatton about to make Wyndham Clark’s locker room dust up look like a tea party

That was an amazing mentally strong performance by young Robert MacIntyre. Quite outstanding.

All credit to me for being the inspiration for Robert MacIntyre. My performance in Winged Foot paved the way.

Good man Lefty, waste no time crack open a Tennents lad, you deserve it.

How on earth did he manage to win after everything conspired against him earlier on, quite remarkable. Congratulations JJ, wonderful.

Mike Whan is a bit intimidating, you wouldn’t want him calling the bingo for the elderly.

Was it a different locker you were trying to annihilate dear Wyndy?