hand to fucking god folks, my D&D group just had a falling out because 4 of the 7 members (me excluded ofc) had an orgy which was kept secret from the DM’s girlfriend. i am just now learning this because she sent an angry message to the group chat then left

Thanks to Mr. K for this wonderful addition to my wardrobe. These tights are PERFECT.

Sydney has left me disappointed and frustrated. :(

"I'm really sorry, I'm just... not ready for this." "It's fine!" "No, I mean it, I feel really bad for wasting your night, I'm so sorry..." "If you feel bad, you can give me $50 for my trouble." "Uh..." "Clearly not feeling that guilty, then." #TimeWasterTales

I missed #TittyTuesday but to be honest that's probably because they're easy to miss... 🥞🥞🥞

SYDNEY: Thanks for having me! ADELAIDE: I'm coming for you. How does next week sound?

when people ask me what i want from a man

😍 i've made it 😍

I accepted a job to perform for a buck's party who wanted a transexual stripper. They had money, and owned the venue. They didn't mention that there was a bah mitzvah at the same venue just after I was to finish. Or that the newly-minted man would be arriving early...

If you're a client willing to take on an MBA graduate with an 'interesting' work history, I'm happy to send you a resume. Certainly would make things easy for me!

I am very glad that I had long, blonde, straight hair when I was Sarah, because I'm 99% sure that's why I have been able to transform into an anonymous boardroom drone.

also, omg, civilian life and its dramas is very safe and stable but VERY boring. anyone got any cool work stories to share?