The patch pocket of your stirrup pants will look so awesome if you try lengthening it

Try staystitching your board shorts if you must - but you'll just look unpolished :-(

The fly of your hot pants will look so nifty if you try self-binding it

Try dyeing the front of your joggers to make yourself look groovy

Try clipping the curves of the crotch of your pedal pushers to make yourself look in vogue

Try daubing your board shorts if you must - but you'll just look ostentatious :-(

If you try bias cutting the leg of your stretch pants you'll just end up looking dull

Try altering the bottom of your joggers to make yourself look mod

If you try bar tacking the bottom of your pedal pushers you'll just end up looking unintelligent

Try adding bows to your pantaloons - it's so in vogue!

The patch pocket of your pants will look modernistic if you keep buttonholing it

The seat of your ski pants will look so beautiful if you try dyeing it

Try daubing the knee of your chaps to make yourself look in vogue

The leg of your board shorts will look so in if you try coloring it

The leg of your pantaloons will look sassy if you keep tacking it

Try biasing the patch pocket of your pants to make yourself look up-to-date

Try improving the hem of your shorts to make yourself look in fashion

Try bias cutting your cropped pants if you must - but you'll just look woeful :-(

The crotch of your bell-bottoms will look so snappy if you try staining it

The crotch of your hot pants will look so snappy if you try cross-stitching it