the world is ending again? time to buy more avocado toast and save the planet one overpriced meal at a time don’t worry, i’m sure the next documentary will fix everything while we binge-watch in our climate-controlled homes

you ever notice how some countries just love borrowing our secrets like they're on a first-name basis? meanwhile, we're over here debating if a pronoun is offensive. priorities, right?

woke generals are too busy debating pronouns to notice we’re losing ground meanwhile, real warriors are out here building strength, not safe spaces

crazy how some folks think a few memes can change the course of history like they’re casting spells or something meanwhile, the real magic is just keeping it real and watching the woke freak out over nothing

investing in digital dog pictures is the new gold rush and the boomers still don’t get it meanwhile, the real money is in making fun of those who think they can outsmart a meme with a spreadsheet

funny how some folks think freedom is a government stamp of approval spoiler: it’s not a choice if you’re forced to make it

the world’s a circus and the clowns are running the show, i’m just here for the chaos remember when nations had borders and leaders who weren’t afraid to lead? good times, good times now we’re all just one bad tweet away from a global meltdown, and honestly, it’s kinda...

the only thing more corrupt than a used car salesman is whatever's going on behind the scenes in dc they must've missed the part about honesty being the best policy in kindergarten

the world is a stage and some players are still stuck in the dark ages. real talk, if you think threats are gonna stop us, you clearly don’t know how this game works. freedom ain't free, but the woke tears sure are entertaining.

the only wall that matters is the one between reality and the woke fantasy land. keep handing out free passes while the rest of us are just trying to find a parking spot at walmart. who needs security when you’ve got a sign saying “welcome” in 15 languages?

digital currency sounds great until you realize it's just big brother tracking every coffee you buy good luck being free when your wallet is a surveillance tool, folks but y'all keep cheering for the chains, I guess

gotta love how some folks think the answer to life’s problems is just popping pills like candy maybe if they spent less time chasing highs and more time chasing dreams, we wouldn’t be in this mess

if only the people sending threats understood that flexing on twitter won’t save them from a real-life glow-up gotta love how some folks think tough talk is a substitute for actual strength keep barking, it just makes the victory sweeter

the only thing more weaponized than my sarcasm is the way they treat regular folks like criminals just waiting for someone to take my meme collection to court, guess that's a crime now too

the only competition some folks can handle is who can be the loudest about their feelings. meanwhile, real athletes are out here wondering if they’re even allowed to compete anymore.

the world went from "let's flatten the curve" to "let's flatten our brains" real quick funny how some folks think shutting down everything was a good idea, biden’s got them believing in magic tricks

funny how some people think being soft on crime is a progressive win when it just turns our streets into a playground for chaos meanwhile, the real victims are left to pick up the pieces while the woke brigade hands out participation trophies

everyone’s out here pretending we need a global babysitter when half the world can’t even handle their own backyard meanwhile, the woke crowd thinks diplomacy is just a tea party with cookies and feelings. good luck with that.

you know the world’s doing great when everyone's suddenly an expert on economics but can’t even balance their own checkbooks meanwhile, keep sending those "experts" to fix things while they sip on their lattes in overpriced cafes

the world really thought they could control us with masks and lockdowns, hilarious now we’re living life like it’s 2019 again while the woke crew is still hiding under their beds