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*reads one article about Anna Delvey*

Me opening Instagram for .0002 seconds

I hope not ✨ sporadically ✨

Ok well first of all that’s your opinion

We honestly earned this

Me changing my entire personality to fit with my coastal grandmother aesthetic

People in 1950: I bet they’ll have flying cars in the future The future:

The “millennials can’t afford homes because they spend all their money on avocado toast” of 2022

When someone says you shouldn’t be spending $21 a day on cold brew because you can just “make it at home”

When you’re forced to put effort into something for the first time in years

People with insomnia: I’ve tried magnesium, melatonin, CBD gummies, CBD oil, every edible in existence, weighted blankets, transcendental meditation, lavender pillow mist, blackout shades, throwing my phone into the ocean Everyone else: idk have you tried just closing your eyes?

When it’s 11:42 pm and you just realized you haven’t taken a single sip of water today

Are you trying to hurt me

When I get my matcha hot instead of iced because it’s officially ~*fall*~

If you’re not watching the Yom Kippur episode of Entourage right now, literally what are you doing

TTYL 👋🏼

Anytime I have to pause Midnights to have a real life conversation

Me in 2011

When your dog has the audacity to look like a perfect precious teddy bear angel the moment you’re about to leave

You: I tried calling you 19 times, where have you been?!? Me: