The Trauma Cat social media manager (me) is currently chained to a radiator. My phone is on 2% battery and I haven't had anything to eat or drink but a glass of milk and a single crab rangoon four hours ago. The band is testing me, and rightfully so ... I apologize!!!

You all must RESTORE PLATONIC ORDER

Somewhere out there, right now, some lowly cuck is reading this tweet, and that sad little fellow is the future author of the Trauma Cat subreddit. Rocks to be that kid

We will not hesitate to "KISS" Gene Simmons RIGHT on the ass...

We've returned from a "successful" meeting with producer St. Julian P. Dingus re: the upcoming record. Unfortunately you will be hearing new "music" soon. We cut this thing in a fallout shelter and it absolutely sucks

We are coming

We have officially and recklessly released new music. Two new singles streaming everywhere (🙄). open.spotify.com/album/0jlc8jQN…

The first single off our debut record is #out. We are sorry. It's #coming. open.spotify.com/track/3kQNYWQM…

We're not trying to be famous. We're simply trying to publicly apologize to a sizable fanbase

Thank you to Anne Hathaway for apologizing to the finger community

open.spotify.com/album/1Snr5LAy…

We're really sorry to tell you this, but Santa Claus is a cryptid. Listen to our song about it 😿 open.spotify.com/track/2yKYyFNk…

Apologizing to our mothers for being born and then to our fathers for celestially whispering to their penises that they should make us get born

So... this just happened.

Hello, 12 followers! Today we released the official music video for our song "Drunk Shark." We're really sorry about this, but we implore you to be good little cucks and please subscribe to our channel. If you don't, we will join the Church of Scientology youtu.be/XbwvnK9csB0

Always remember to apologize, even if you are completely innocent

This application is borderline senseless. Are you sorry?!

Hi, Twitter. Been a while. Don't get mad, but our album's out today. Sorry. 😿 open.spotify.com/album/1tpY7v4n…

Trauma Cat 😿 and their single "CMND CNTRL" off the album "Prepare To Apologize" has been deemed our top Locals Only track of 2021! To celebrate, we will play it all week at 6:05PM EST in the Locals Only Spotlight on 95X!

@liminaltweet I want