Transfer Portal is a happy place. We know you’ve been emotionally stressed at your current program. We understand you’re probably carrying quite a bit of resentment. Relax.

When you first step into the portal you will follow the following steps: 1. Program debriefing 2. Hot meal/turn in uniforms 3. Assigned a room 4. Future program assessment 5. Movie time and snack

Breaking News: FSUs Amir Rasul has entered the portal! Welcome! First order of business, change your name to Coolio JuJu McMaster.

Pretty common theme inside the portal, coaches can suck. A lot of hurt athletes in here. Some mending is needed.

Busy time of year here in the portal. Lots of broken promises by coaches is the main theme.

8pm movie tonight is “The Break UP” with Vince Vaughn. He’s so good in that movie.

The Break Up is a huge hit tonight among the athletes. Most of them can relate so much to Vince Vaughn. Jennifer Aniston is such a Kirby Smart in this movie.

Movies over and athletes in the portal are all tucked in and ready for a good nights rest. Lots of exciting, promising days ahead.

Well, probably the most unlucky player in the history of college football has entered the portal. Welcome Austin KENDALL! We know you are really good, just had to watch two Heisman trophy winners in front of you.

Welcome WR Juwan Johnson from Penn State! We understand Penn State Football has mishandled your talents like they mishandle play calling late in games. Sit back, relax and enjoy the portal! James Franklin

Welcome OT Drew Richmond and TE Eli Wolf from Tennessee Football. The portal is excited to have you and we see your joy for not having to play for Tennessee anymore.

Inside the portal is always entertaining. Hurts just told a story about if you screw up on a play at Alabama, Coach Saban the next week will capture one of his farts and make you smell it in front of the team. Team accountable at its finest Alabama Football Paul Finebaum

Several OU Sooners up in the portal today....band plays Boomer Sooner!

Movie night tonight for the athletes. 8pm showing of “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape.” Goal is to make them feel grateful they aren’t 500lbs or a mentally handicapped Leonardo DiCaprio

First time any of these guys have seen What’s Eating Gilbert Grape. Their minds are blown.

Jalen left the portal tonight to visit Maryland, could be a good fit for him if he wants to lose 7–8 games next season. Maryland Terrapins

Took a day off since we’ve been so busy this week to enjoy the Kansas City Chiefs

Dinner tonight is rolls from Logan’s Steakhouse and beef tips. Movie night is Remeber the Titans. Gotta get these athletes believing again!

Just saw Jalen Hurts, he’s about to leave the Portal. #ihategoodbyes #bestrong