I just wrote a review on Giant Earth Playsilks in Forest yotpo.com/go/gjiyPKFq via @yotpo

Avoid unwanted pregnancies by using the "pull out" method where you pull out an acoustic guitar at a party & no one will have sex with you.

It's not like anyone is going to accomplish anything today anyway. Number hungry

It's not the holidays if your mom isn't performing a poem about masterbating #reallife

The appetizers are out. Go pack!

Yeah, we also have a vegan option for those of you that can't deal with the guilt of being at the top of the food chain you fucking pussy.

Chocolate cake chocolate cake chocolate cake.

Neil Gaiman gives a dramatic reading of “Green Eggs and Ham” j.mp/1eMHPlH

You'll believe a crackhead actor about a presidential affair, but you won't believe Woody Allen's daughter? Go fuck yourself.

@scottchadde @skychadde @chadde_rio found the gem hidden in a photo album at G&G's. Grandma also would not own up.

Surfs up in Malibu...but I'm riding my wave in Salem today! #hi-ho-hi-ho

If we always used correct grammar there would be no salt-n-pepa. #wisdom #husband

“Galen Gering: And to the the dirtbag who stole both pairs of my sunglasses: can't wait to see em on ya and punch u in the face. Cheers!”

Do you like decaf mokas? I do.

: “While my father was milking the cows my mother would come out and read something to him.” —John Gardner tpr.ly/gOV0cJ”E

Grandma is up and I should be too. #leeladies

Pretty surprised that g'ma thinks RR should be able to play on a year 'if he does therapy'. I want to admire her ability to forgive but...

thats so crazy theres a whole song about how someone likes old time rock and roll

hunters be careful this spring keep an eye out for sufjan stevens & bon iver who are probably curled up like ducks in a pussywillow thicket