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I only use twitter now for criticising burrito hygiene so if you follow me for reasons other than stamping out e-coli at Chipotle UK then I'm on insta posting mostly dick pics

Monday Club 25 Mar 7pm museumofcomedy.ticketsolve.com/ticketbooth/sh… Olaf Falafel, Maria Fedulova, Darren Walsh, Davina Bentley, Khalid Winter, J B Carter, Alice India, Matt Smith, Declan Kennedy, LJ Da Funk, Mark Bittlestone, Jake Baker, Sam Nicoresti, Sascha L.O. & MC Tony Dunn Museum of Comedy

We've got new schtick from: Alice India Darren Walsh Puns Davina Bentley Solace of Quantum @jbcarter81 Jake Baker Kalid Winter Burrito Hygiene Monitor Maria Fedulova Mark ON TOUR Bittlestone Matt Smith Olaf Falafel Nam Sicoresti Sascha LO & your MC Tony Dunn

Bringing us the goods next Monday! Solace of Quantum Edward Aczel Hamish Shephard Julius Howe @kellymaxineford Burrito Hygiene Monitor Maple Zuo, Matt Smith, Oh Standfast Olaf Falafel Paul F Taylor Raajiee Chelliah Sikisa Comedy & MC Tony Dunn 🎟️ loom.ly/mU4XBd8 🎟️

🔥New Battle🔥 @WTDavies V Burrito Hygiene Monitor - who do you think won? youtu.be/okMZ9mtukiI?si… Joke Thieves is the show where comedians do battle by telling their own jokes and then each other’s 🏆🚑😂

My Terry ‘Big Bollocks’ the Vampire T-shirt as handed over by Burrito Hygiene Monitor yesterday Brighton Fringe, whilst a little snug, fits just fine. Fangs, mate. 🧛🏻‍♂️ 🥜 #tanzdervampire #brightonfringe #vampire #journeyintofringe

Kulture

Tonight! Caroline ofBrunswick Laughing Horse Brighton Fringe And we’ve got a fabulous lineup for you!! Lil Wenker Kitty Cassis Burrito Hygiene Monitor Tickets: brightonfringe.org/events/captain… #brightonfringe #comedy #latenightcomedy #brightonbeach #brighton_ig #brightoncomedy #brightonandhove #standup

Today's #burritohygiene faux pas - Tortilla at Euston. Person operating the till then wrapped my burrito using the same pair of gloves. I look forward to Food Standards Agency cracking down on this nationwide malpractice.

I now use this account purely to moan about poor hygiene standards in burrito takeaways. If you follow me for other purposes I'm on insta - ljdafunk

Once again, Tortilla Chipotle UK , Mi Casa Burritos kindly tell your staff not to handle food with the gloves they use to operate the till. It's all of your outlets everywhere. Food Standards Agency definitely need to crack down on this before the next botulism outbreak

Knock knock? Who's there? Food poisoning Food poisoning who? Food poisoning from having a burrito made by the same person operating the till using the same pair of gloves they've had on all day

Am I the only one that truly cares about burrito hygiene? Come on guys. This is EVERYTHING

Nobody cares until the day when they wake up and poo out of their mouth and bumhole because someone made their burrito using the gloves from the till

All your burritos are full of till-germs and only I care

Not burrito related. Final show tonight

The only people who ever like my burrito hygiene posts are sexy spam bots Why don't you humans care that your burritos are full of till-germs?

Had another burrito covered in till germs from Micasa_burritos at Liverpool Street station. Do they understand why they wear the blue gloves? What do they think the gloves are doing? Will Food Standards Agency crack down on this medically dangerous malpractice? I hope so

Non burrito hygiene related tweet

MORDAUNT falls SHORT! One for the Richer Sounds historians #ElectionResults #GeneralElections2024