what kind of sick god would allow us to live in a world with 14 Saw movies and only one Ratatouille film

“This for them fuckin straws bitch”

👏 not 👏 every 👏 rat 👏 is 👏 a 👏master 👏 of 👏 gourmet 👏 french 👏 cuisine

wow i'm honoured that my bday is exactly 69696 days from 6/9/69 this is the best present

shut the fuck up

going to name my next child cain (short for cocaine)

this is the equivalent of stealing from the bank while playing monopoly and still losing... absolutely embarrassing... take the L, bolsonaro, literally 👆💜1⃣3⃣💜👆

CIA flop era

Elon should hold a Twitter poll to see if his workers should be allowed to unionize. Vox Populi, Vox Dei, etc

2022 Headline of the Year nominee (March)

Sorry.

just said “behind” in my own home