Just had a Bailey's in the bath and now I'm practicing spinning drumstick twirling to I Feel Love. Why did I ever bother dating this is mint

Lockdown crafts reaching an inevitable level of insanity over here. Of course it has matching earrings.

You know those homely Christmas smells? Well my Nan just burned a pan of stewed apples, so she's BOILING VINEGAR to clean it. Beat that.

Me Mam's house, fuck Alicante

Oh hi I'm ok I just forgot my password. Also I had a baby. His name is Billy. X

I watched Get Back and I got really sad and horny about Paul's beard and made some unwise life choices for one weekend but I'm ok now

Came back to twitter because I love chaos and FB is just people asking if anyone's got a number for a plumber

I will never tire of 80s knitting books. This lady regrets taking the modelling gig.

Every time I can't be arsed to go band practice, I drag my miserable arse there anyway, and then have a mint time. Supporting the mighty GIRLS IN SYNTHESIS at Zerox, Newcastle, Dec 8th

Just appreciating Billy's singular pink toe bean 💖

I was aiming for nice girly Christmas nails, but now everything I touch turns to disco hammer horror

It's irresponsible to put these up around town, they're gonna make the Mams* faint *Me

I did not expect The English to be an extended edit of a terrifying British 1970s public information film about sexually transmitted disease

Why can't I just find a perfume that smells like a church library which transforms into a leather club/florists at midnight arghhh

How did I do my final project in GCSE Art on Warhol and not know about his cat drawings? Excuse me, Andy Warhol designed the weed cat Pokémon Sprigatito in the 50s? Glorious

Not feeling Christmassy at all, but I've bullied my family into going to see Violent Night tomorrow. If that doesn't work, nothing will.