Ive always thought a fuck buddy was a fun old guy at work you talked shit back and forth with and bummed chews from. Bragged about having quite a few over the years.

It's easier right now to get a Covid-19 test in Omaha than it is to find in stock fishing tackle at Bass Pro or Cabela's.

In the winter I'm bad about giving my car enough time to warm up before driving it. In July I start that bitch an a hour and a half before I decide where I'm even going.

It's taken me 5 years to get a 5 minute comedy clip I like and now I ain't got no place to send it to be disliked.

I bought an electric massager with a scalp stimulator attachment and it's incredible. All I need now is a nose ring and I never have to go to Sports Clips for an MVP shampoo again.

Staying in with my air fryer tonight.

3rd precautionary covid test in the books. They don't get more fun just more thankful it isn't your wiener.

Crick or creek is one thing, but ask a guy with a pack of smokes in one tit pocket and a chew can in the other to say Rapala.

I'm starting to find out when a girl compliments you on your fantastic jaw line you don't compliment her jawline back. It doesn't resonate the same.

tylerwalshcomedy.com Got a couple new booking clips I'm proud of and got myself a website!

Having a day job at the bottom tier of agriculture involves a lot of convos with truck drivers starting with "we're a shithole, thanks for your patience'".

#NewProfilePic

Monitoring my stock shares on Robinhood throughout work day is way more fun than monitoring Bumble messages to see if girls respond after I say my favorite place to hang out is the river behind Harrahs.

Turns out a pandemic Thanksgiving is actually all I've ever wanted. Making pickle wraps with the good ass dry beef for just me baby.

Bought an Orvis fly tying kit this morning for a winter indoor learning activity. If they're too ugly to catch fish I'm going to sell them as merch after comedy shows as "Coozie Bling".

Just started using a weighted blanket and it's a game changer. I'm a sleep circus and this thing is Peta.

If I was a pilot car driving the guys actually doing the road labor would get so tired of me giving them the beef stick wave every time I passed them.

John-boy Walton may have had long underwear, but he didn’t have a 25 lb Weighted blanket. I have both and I’m having a Midwest November for the record books.

I just bought a ten dollar vendor grilled cheese. When I visit home tomorrow I’m gonna make my dad beat my ass with a pork steak.

I got all my family thanksgiving stuff done over the weekend so Thursday is just a no work, underwear & summer sausage day with my new roku. Thankful city days ahead.