This is not a drill.

This is outstanding. The absence of widespread public assistance or even passing interest in this utter calamity is a disgrace.

The #ChristchurchTerrorAttack can absolutely be attributed to immigration: the migration of one horrifically violent, bigoted social reject with pathetic paramilitary delusions from Aus to NZ. We are so, so sorry. #ChristchurchShootings #NZMosqueTerrorAttack

An excellent question. Although, when you’re dealing with complete zealots, I doubt rhetorical questions, however measured and valid, are going to cut any ice.

This is using the interweb for good.

Steve Dixon: “I will no longer be of *pubic* interest” 🤔

Well, this year’s ballot paper is an unseemly jostle for the wooden spoon. #ausvotes #democracysausage

Accidentally added gravy powder instead of cocoa. Treated work colleagues to delicious chocolate, raspberry, coconut and roast lamb jus slice. Passed it off as “caramelised”.

Pure poetry. #BacheloretteAU

There’s room enough for both sports & both clubs. Losing the hopeless but good-natured CCC wouldn’t just be a sad loss, but an utterly pointless one.

Dan will literally need to serve up pickled lung tartare with a side of faeces for Therese to avoid the horror of “home” #MasterChefAU

Where’s the glorious Kishwar tonight? #MasterChefAU

1/2. Hey, iiNet - you know what extra-specially good? Not even being able to reset passwords or shift existing store account profiles to gmail. Retailers like to send you a confirmatory email to your “old” email address, you see. You see? #iinet

2/2 Also iiNet, I’m not unsympathetic to the fact that you’re clearly experiencing some epic shitstorm. However, as one who specialises in crisis comms in just such a situation, your non-handling of this is destined to become a classic “what NOT to do” case study. #iinet

Wow - something for everyone! 🚤🏄‍♂️ Chaps, enjoy your high-octane water sports! 🪣🧺 Ladies, let the good times roll with a box of Omo and a mound of dirty clothes! 🤦‍♀️ 🤦‍♀️ 🤦‍♀️ #realestatefail

Well, that’s some unfathomable bollocks. No shade to Brent & Rhi, but name me another cook who’s evolved so much, as well as winning Top Human Status? #MasterChefAU

A little something I just whipped up, MasterChef Australia 🏆

If I’m a wreck, how many millions of times worse it must be for Jock’s family, mates & colleagues. Total champion. First-class human. An immense loss. MasterChef Australia