Free idea: a housekeeping service where procrastinating writers come over to “write” and subsequently clean your entire apartment.

Now that I no longer have the blue check that enraged him so much, can someone tell William Shatner he can unblock me? Idk I feel like this could be really healing for both of us

Just when I thought I might be running out of things to talk about in therapy, Spotify Wrapped dropped

Oh hey my pilot is in the top 1% of half-hour Coverfly projects! If you’re staffing, looking to rep or just love to read fun, silly things, I’d love to share it with ya 🤓

This is my one and only New Year’s Resolution for 2023

We need a comment section for New York Times wedding announcements

Help I’m stuck in the think tank

Ah yes, the Billionaire Turkducken

Backstreet Boys don’t care who I am? Or what I’ve done??? Have some self respect

What’s the word for being able to do a really good Marge Simpson impression but only when singing the Farmer’s Insurance commercial

BORN TO DAWDLE FORCED TO HASTEN

You could be grateful?

My New Year’s resolution is to do a little more dillying, a little less dallying

Same

Looked over the latest CDC waste water data and I found all your exes

Gucci this, Ferarri that, it’s time Adam Driver give the people what we actually want: a live-action Luigi

I'm starting a new business called "Crybar" and instead of drying hair, we wet it with a good ol' cry. Champagne still included.