The word “recommendations” has no business being that long

Gonna beat my moms new boyfriend Travis ass today at thanksgiving

Me pulling up in her DM’s after she takes her mans IG handle out of her bio

Touring Bay Area comedian’s show is canceled after pro-Palestinian jokes sfgate.com/sf-culture/art… via SFGATE

Bruh F**k what ya heard, your 30’s suck I just took a bath and both my legs fell asleep while in the tub I had to google what to do

How I look at the homie after he ask “aye do you still need to borrow $20?” In front of the 👱🏼‍♀️,👩🏿‍🦰,👩🏽‍🦳’s

Anytime I hear someone say sandwich in a silly way I wanna give them an uppercut. The word “Sammich” sucks ass

Yo hear me out, this might just be a 1am thought but I think I’m on to something If we know the log cabin set up is best for making a fire shouldn’t we build cabins that we sleep in like not that way

Me in my head after finding my vape pen I’ve been trying to find for 15 minutes and remembering it’s in my hoodie “Fuck yeah, I’m a good ass Detective”

Homie: Do u think you have anxiety? Me: Nah, but sometimes when a video won’t load on my phone for a little, the possibility of the apocalypse having started run through my mind, like if something catastrophic happens in the world, my phone not working would be a huge indicator

If you post a dude as your Valentine and the flowers he got you today, I take back all the heart reactions I leave on yo stories, sorry cuz today I’m hatin

I keep giving money to homeless foos outside of gas stations thinking they a TIKTOK influencer, like the ones who give out $500 for being nice in the videos. The feeling of rage when I find out they really need the dollar is unheard of

A chick ghosted me 3 years ago and i saw her post a meme that said “I just wanna be loved the way I love, why do people disappear” I commented “YEAH THAT SHIT SUCKS HUH FOOL, YOU FOUND OUT YOU AINT THE MAIN CHARACTER” Lol Ight.. Actually what I said is “oh no you okay? 🥺”

Homie: hey man I just need to talk to someone, I feel like everyone hates me Me: you ain’t the main character and people don’t think about you good or bad as much as you think they do Homie: 🤯 I’m not the main character

I prefer to sleep on my bed hamburger style instead of hotdog style. I’ve never told anyone this but I’ve had 3 twisted teas today so we just being open

Joe Biden gotta punch a grenade out the sky to win now

Me trying to get my soul back after I sold it to the devil on some simp shit cuz this girl that heart reacts my Instagram story all the time told me she's into some spooky shit

Would you like to watch Chris Angel MINDFREAK?