Overheard at nursery: "I don't like the way your willy is pointing at me"

#overheardatnursery "Please don't watch him wee"

#overheardatnursery Me: why are you crying? Girl child: because I don't have a bug. Mummy checked my ears, nose and throat and I don't have a bug. So I have to come to nursery today. #workingwithchildren #ilovemyjob

#overheardnursery Me to a child crouched over looking up at another child: "Please stop looking at his bum, he's done a poo poo"

#overheardatnursery Girl child sitting on the toilet: Sydney!!! Me looking over the cubicle door and answering : yes? Girl child proceeds to jump so hard that she fell into the toilet bowl. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry as I was laugh crying. #childcare

#overheardatnursery Girl child: A snake! Confused, I look to where she's pointing and see a worm. #itwasabigwormtbf #childcare #puddlejumping

#overheardatnursery Me telling a girl child she cannot draw on furniture Boy child being my shadow: what's the problem Sydney?

#overheardatnursery Me: Pudsey is coming! Children are excited. Spots ready. Flags in hand. Beaming smiles. Pudsey walks in. Boy child walks up to me shaking his head: I don't like it Sydney #ChildrenInNeed #pudseybear

#overheardatnursery Me: Where's your willy? Other member of staff: now that's one for your twitter (Disclaimer: he was stood up next to a potty but with his boyhood tucked like a drag queen for some reason I do not know.) #childcare #lovemyjob #typicalmonday #yasqueen

Sorry its been a while, childcare is exhausting... Me helping children in the toilets. Girl child washing her hands out of the blue turns around and says: your boots are boring. Me hurt, eyes up her sparkly boots. I say nothing.

#overheardatnursery Girl child just out of potty training. I'm cleaning poo from all up her back. Me: how did poo get up your back? Girl child: I've been cheeky #whatdoyousaytothat? #childcare #pottytraining #isitpoo

#overheardatnursery My colleague (an adult) : aw, I've bruised my finger Me: how? Girl woman: I tripped and hit my hand on the unicorn