someone just threw up on my bus, its 6:20 man come on

covfefe

gonna have sofia singing peaches hotwired into my head for the rest of time

a car accident is the perfect way to end the day

had a dream about buying the garfield movie on dvd, this feels like a sign

at a war museum, colonisation bb

in my termite era

whenever I slouch it makes me think of the virgin walk meme

I'd like to blame the Christian Bible today for my diet of black coffee and cigarettes catching up with me

I just want a gnome playlist made by gnomes for gnomes, not just some silly name for ur music

sofias doorbell sounds like a radiohead song

is it too much to ask to be magnum pi?

this was a good use of one of the 600 tweets I’m allowed to see per day

millie is just a lil stinker

"if you can't beat them join them, start smoking weed" -bus driver

did he actually say this

I'm gonna weld my foreskin shut

mixing genders in my big ass cauldron

Looking out my peripherals to see Katie googling fetty wap