Is it elderly of me to bitch because people are driving down a one way street incorrectly?

I really thought remembering the vaccine I was getting was going to mean I’d get to meet up with all the other people that got the same shot. I guess I’ll drink all this myself.

Today I had a lot of time in my office to sit and do something productive and instead I've just wasted time and I'm not too happy about it.

I think I’m old because I ate a tease cup and it felt too late in the day to do so.

Somewhere, out there, I’m still co-running a literary journal. I miss you guys.

Sometime I mess up my kids names on purpose to create a worry that either I don’t love them or I’m getting dementia. #justdadthings

Today a person informed me that they wash their face with honey, and I, a person that would rather cut of his hands than to be sticky internally panicked and almost blurted “Wet and sticky is very icky. Sticky and wet makes mommy upset.”

Sometimes I have to remind myself that it isn't normal to have a filing system in your head labeled "[Friend's Name] Lore".

I'm drinking coffee in my office thinking about eating 100 Mcdonald's chicken nuggets.

You ever just want to know what ever happened to that kid that really liked his trapper keeper? It’s me. I look at ‘leather folios’ and think ‘what a sick adult trapper keeper’

Today I could chew through metal wire.

I stepped on the elevator and saw casting call for the play Antigone. I said “Anti-gone? Isn’t that just here?” No one said anything and I wished nothing more than the elevator to plummet.

Sometimes I see myself as an invasive species upon those that I talk with.

I'm not sure what the hell is with today but I'm already in the mood to fight a god.

Man, these people I live around almost get sexually excited when something goes awry and they can say the phrase "See? This is the end of the world."

Some days I question why I ever thought to think the vise grip would cease.

Ah yes. The outside cat is hitting on the inside cat via screaming. True love.

I swear raising a teen in extra curricular activities is like living in my car while being struck with anxiety of someone who just had complete memory loss.

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