the plural of boob is beeb

the queen’s gambit but with hungry hungry hippos

My daughter is the artist. I’m the art project clean up crew.

a shrimp? am i to accept, as god's own truth, that the sea's very own abominable and chittering roach, was the one who took wok into hand and fried this rice?

I love playoff football everything always comes down to arguing about the metric system or the laws of physics

If you can’t picture your job being done by a pig wearing clothes in a children’s book, it’s not a real job and you add no real value to society.

when i die throw my lifeless corpse in the lava flow of the Indonesian kawah ijen volcano’s blue glowing lava

what does NASA stand for. not another spaceship aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

everybody born between 1985 and 1995 saw the Super Bowl halftime show lineup and was like “sweet, instead of doing a show for old people like the Rolling Stones or Paul McCartney or The Who they did one for us young people” and then 10 seconds later it hit us

i just want to say i’m disappointed in modern architecture and it’s distinct lack of gargoyles

This is the greatest birthday cake ever.

The extremely lovely woman I became friends with on the plane shared her memes with me 🥰

Alright Lionel, it's not a competition.

Big Boi: To’ up. from the flo’ up, while I growed up, swimmin in go-re-gous Flo-ri-da women but this pimp reside in Georgia. Coroner. Report I hope insurance shored up. Might have your rates turned up before them boys turn the corna. Andre 3000: She trapped in my cadmium palace

Michael Crichton, famed author of Jurassic Park, was 6’9”? That boy was playing with the wrong Raptors