Tuck into a taste adventure with our Double-Crammed-Crust pizza! RT for an unexpected adventure of your own! youtu.be/5phASrfLPpw

I'll stop being sarcastic when you stop being a stupid fuck.

Do yourself a favour...look at the moon! #capetownflare

Dance like nobody's watching. But masturbate like everyone is.

If you get drunk and don't regret anything the next day, then something is wrong with the way you drink.

what's that thing called when your crush likes you back? oh yeah imagination

If your legs open up faster than Google’s homepage. You are not girlfriend material.

Relationships are harder now because conversations becomes texting, argument becomes phone calls, and feelings become statuses and tweets.

When people ask me why I don't have any tattoos I say to them, "Would you put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari?"

If I delete your number... You're basically deleted from my life. ✋✋

Interesting fact: You're a slut and the world hates you.

Roses are red, and sometimes thorny. When I think of you, it makes me horny.

"Survival Tips: Nice virginity. Can I have it?"Matt Stringer

A Full Review Of iPhone 5s. evad3rs.net/2013/09/a-full…

Alcohol goes in, Truth comes out

People that text back instantly. I like that shit

Fat Bitches send you one nude & that shit be like "Pages 1 of 6".

Matt Stringer visiting Gutville tonight. women put your tightest pants on, nay wear a chastity belt, nay just don't go out. He will get in#tiger

These bitches keep tweeting "Nobody's perfect" yet here I am....