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Well I can write sunburnt ears off my bucket list >.<

It takes guts to be a organ donor!!

You think “do not touch” is the scariest thing to read in Braille?

People are usually shocked when they find out I’m not a good electrician!

What does a clock do when it’s hungry?? It goes back 4 seconds!!!!

What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed. Oh sheet!!

I’ll say it, yah!, the a/c on Yale fork lifts.....has some Opportunities!! There I said it!! =D

Last night a storm blew away 25% of my roof!! OOF!!

Practicing math with my youngest 10 + 5 apparently = five teen not fifteen lol

My friend David lost hi ID, now he’s just Dav.

Got my 6 year old a Xbox, iPad, bike, all kinds of other toys and he’s outside playing with 2 rocks....

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, then it dawned on me.

My 6 year old has officially declared my kitchen and living room a third world country.

Why don’t blind people skydive?? -Scares the dog

My son likes to give me nonstop weather updates. Thought I would share

Serious question; is goofy a dog or a cow??

Was gonna beat some eggs for breakfast while everyone slept. Then decided it was to big a whisk.

Son woke up at 2am and yelled, Half awake he asks me was that a dream I go yah, an ask what did you dream, he says I thought I had boogers on my intestines. Lol