Nothing I hate more than a thoughtful "How are you?"

"You took a long hard look at my ass and then played golf for awhile" -Alanis lyrics I somehow found super meaningful at 12.

At least fifty percent of my time is spent scooping up my dog and running away from people.

Currently rearranging my week around the mere mention of a potential pigs-in-a-blanket dinner.

Just another weekday afternoon spent crying at "Switched at Birth" like any normal 30-year old.

With mindful practice, any stress can be eliminated by taking three deep breaths of marijuana.

"Did you have a meeting today or something?" -now a standard greeting from my friends if I'm in anything but sweatpants

Today on #GilmoreGuys we welcome Sarah Heyward to gab all about Ep 309 with us! apple.co/12GF465

I feel most loved when my coworkers and friends remember my dog's middle name.

I feel like a lot of these self-proclaimed "active" driveways are kidding themselves.

A coworker casually said he might bring me some crazy Doritos from Japan and I can't let myself think about it too much or I won't sleep.

Today on #GilmoreGuys we welcome back our dear friend Sarah Heyward to gab for almost 3 hours about Ep 508!

I would happily die for her and I just realized that my dog probably doesn't even know my name.

Today on a fresh #GilmoreGuys, Sarah Heyward joins 1/2 of us for a SPOILER-FILLED discussion and some emails too!

Today on a fresh #GilmoreGuys we welcome back Sarah Heyward and @sarahram0s to gab all about Ep 605 with us!

I'll never be the right combination of dramatic and chill required to throw my phone into a body of water.

Weirdest part of watching Steve on "Fuller House" is hearing how Aladdin would sound at 40.

@RoryJMGreen Gilmore Guys You're a genius. Totally.

@stopthestatic I'm cautiously optimistic. You?!