Not having a child in my 20s might be the best decision I ever made in my life

No sane person wants RFK Jr, Hulk Hogan and Hershal Walker making decisions in their lives.

Stop scrolling, take a deep breath, and use the next few minutes to escape to a place where the air is sweet. 💛💚

Melania look like me at a professional event pretending the edible don’t have me FLOATING.

Doctor gonna sprinkle yo toes into the trash like salt bae

I heard podcasts are great way to pass the time standing in line.

1. Is there any evidence this is actually happening? 2. Can we talk about how fucking weird it is that the entire MAGA movement is terrified of women?

Please put me on hold so long that it’s a surprise who I’m calling.

god watching you steal welfare money

The god who sacrificed his only begotten son for our sins? The one who looked out for the poor? Booooy GTFOH

Cyber Command needs to fuck Russia up. It shouldn’t matter who you are voting for, this is unacceptable.

No weed, no abortions, yall boys living like 1866 down there

Do y'all watch the results come or do you go to bed around now and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

2024 your election pants 🤝 me wondering how it's this tight

Looks like I overestimated the American people. This election isn’t over, but this should have been the biggest electoral landslide in history. It’s like people are actively voting for America to fail.

You can confirm what he TOLD your ass.

Fuck this.