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I think about this scene all the time The Simpsons, 1994

I knew checking Twitter/X the morning after someone took a shot at Trump was just going to be a dumpster fire of moron takes, but you've all exceeded my expectations. #Trump #shooter

So far today I've walked 10.2 miles and taken north of 21k total steps. So tomorrow I'm just not gonna get out of bed. I don't want to be TOO healthy...you know?

Maybe I should just pin this tweet... #SecretService #Trump #TrumpAssassinationAttempt

I replaced a toilet in my condo all by myself. Saved 300 bucks not hiring a plumber. So just as a warning to anyone I may see over the next few months, while we are speaking, I may injure my shoulder while patting myself on the back for doing the most basic plumbing there is.

No T.V, No beer, & No candy makes Homer go something something. #SpookySeason 🎃 🍬 #TheSimpsonsGoats #TheSimpsons #SimpsonsForever

Can someone put me in a coma for the next week and a half?

At least it's been a full week since any of us have had to watch a campaign commercial...

Alright, I can die happy now.

Seen a lot of random things walking around Philadelphia, but I definitely did not have a camel on my bingo card today. #philly #Philadelphia

Just walked past a guy getting arrested for smoking weed, while sitting behind the wheel of a running car, while parked in a school zone. I feel like at this point in #Philly you'd have to try really hard to get arrested for marijuana, but that'll certainly do it.

This data is the biggest electoral black pill. Voters know nothing! It’s all vibes!

Ooh, January 1st. Better get going on those taxes, Neddy!

This app is increasingly an insane asylum, you can almost hear the grunting as people gleefully hit RT on the most obvious lies and partisan slop.

I remember once I brought a date around my group of friends, and on the way home she asked "so do you and all of your friends hate each other or something?"

Sure. We haven’t joined an intergalactic federation because Andromeda is 2.5 million light-years away from Earth, so traveling at the speed of light (impossible), it would take another race 2.5 million years to get here, assuming they live there and not a galaxy even further away

I saw Val Kilmer died yesterday, so I watched Tombstone...and the next thing I knew I was reinstalling Red Dead Redemption 2. So I guess that's what I'm doing with myself for the next few weeks.

I will not sit idly by and allow for such meatball slander sir. "Meatball Rob DeSantis" is a compliment, and I will take it as such.