jacket drawn in ms paint with mouse

your 20s are for reconfirming your existing biases --but, also, more importantly, watching television

bribe your coworkers with sweets and they will be your indentured servants

i just got some fingerless gloves so you know what that means… #MutualsGettingTouched

[pirate trying to have sex with a siren] .. drop yerr shanties….

the wind-- it pushes my fragile limbs. i cannot bend. not anymore.

once the novelty wears off, discard. but don’t empty the bin. maybe in a few months i’ll be bored and want my toy again. keep my toy around. object. it’s mine.

reading the tweets that make me mad. can’t stay away. little moth to a flame. i fucking love being angry sooo much. haha awesome as fuck

I look at your tweets and touch myself, not out of lust but contempt

10 tips and tricks to be more exuberant in your day-to-day as a serf

Do I really have to share the English language with you people

i urge you to read the idiotic attempts at debate from all sides of the aisle itt lol

if you use the words 'genuinely' or 'unironically' you might genuinely unironically deserve to be shot in the back of the head

i’d like to learn how to smile

i am mr. literal, i am mr. miserable, i am mr. hard-to-be-around

nourishment

white women be like: my dog has generalized anxiety disorder and he takes his prozac with a pup cup

being a neet is like having top-shelf H constantly coursing through your veins

OK

my hoe is going my bulge is massive my feet are cold my heart is pounding my eyes are dry