ive been accidentally intermittent fasting all week & then i remember to eat & i eat 42 chicken tendies

my starbucks hasnt been using mobile ordering but if i didnt get london fog tea latte for my scratchy throat i would die so i had 4 cars ahead of me to rehearse & i still crumbled at the speaker

it doesnt bother me if a guy’s text bubbles are green but one time i was sending a nsfw video & we forgot the shitty iphone to android quality so he asked me to email it to him

there was a time where i was like “i could def handle a dude who watches j** r****, i can work with that” & wow do i feel dumb!!!!!!!!

me: i’m gonna go through my nail polishes! time to downsize! also me: these are all very different & i need all of them

sometimes you & your friends get too drunk at dinner & hang out in walmart to sober up & everyone buys the same sweater, just like all the other 30 something adults

my sim’s kid was just taken away because they were 69ing while their kid starved

me: *spends $100 on holo taco nail polish* also me: *returns a $14 dress to old navy* wow i’m really glad that evened out

So you're getting an abortion in the era of surveillance capitalism

tear gas is an abortifacient, not that any of these fucking bowling balls with eyes give a shit. just if there was any belief in an American pro life position that wasn’t just about pure malice and domination

Pro-lifers don't like complexity. At 17 weeks my placenta detached and he was much too small. I thought I felt my baby's frantic attempts to breathe. My OBGYN advised me to terminate the pregnancy, there wasn't much time. But I couldn't.

if you publicly come out against student loan forgiveness, the federal government should come to your house with 87,000 new irs agents kitted up with bayraktars and force you to repay every single dime you got from the PPP loans that were forgiven.

getting a “u up?” text at 11pm from a gen x man but he just wants to show me the beer hes drinking

me: *wearing a shirt that says “let’s dec*pit*te mitch mcconnell* 45 year old bf: i don’t understand where you buy your clothes

DoNt FoRgEt YoUr UsUaLs